On January 21, 2017, I joined an ocean of women across America, on the march of our lives. The atmosphere was electric, as we drummed, danced and chanted our truths. We went hoarse, shouting, "Our Bodies, Our Choice!" and I have to believe that the universe actually heard us roar.
Today, my body called upon me to make a choice. And I made a radical, life-changing one. The right one for me.
At our long and intense meeting with my surgeon, this morning, we discussed all of my medical options. With my non-invasive cancer detected so early, I would be the perfect candidate for a lumpectomy, followed by radiation, and, possibly, long-term use of the anti-cancer drug, Tamoxifen. I'd continue to need aggressive-screening, and there would be the risk of either a recurrence, or a new cancer forming in one, or both, of my breasts.
I closed my eyes and put my hand on my heart, and for the very first time, it spoke to me with an unambiguous, inarguable, clarity.
"What I want," I heard myself state, "is a bilateral mastectomy, without reconstruction. I want to be free from fear, and anxiety, and medication, and mammograms, and biopsies, and radiation. My amazing breasts have done what they were meant to do, and I'm truly ready to let them go."
My doctor listened. Ranabir listened. I listened. To me, speaking my truth. Without fear. And for very the first time since my abnormal mammogram, my pulse slowed down, and I experienced the deepest sense of peace.
I'm having my surgery on September 12th. It'll be the beginning, of the rest of my life.
But first, I'm taking my beautiful, hard-working, loyal breasts, on one, last, fabulous, beach-holiday to Mexico!
At our long and intense meeting with my surgeon, this morning, we discussed all of my medical options. With my non-invasive cancer detected so early, I would be the perfect candidate for a lumpectomy, followed by radiation, and, possibly, long-term use of the anti-cancer drug, Tamoxifen. I'd continue to need aggressive-screening, and there would be the risk of either a recurrence, or a new cancer forming in one, or both, of my breasts.
I closed my eyes and put my hand on my heart, and for the very first time, it spoke to me with an unambiguous, inarguable, clarity.
"What I want," I heard myself state, "is a bilateral mastectomy, without reconstruction. I want to be free from fear, and anxiety, and medication, and mammograms, and biopsies, and radiation. My amazing breasts have done what they were meant to do, and I'm truly ready to let them go."
My doctor listened. Ranabir listened. I listened. To me, speaking my truth. Without fear. And for very the first time since my abnormal mammogram, my pulse slowed down, and I experienced the deepest sense of peace.
I'm having my surgery on September 12th. It'll be the beginning, of the rest of my life.
But first, I'm taking my beautiful, hard-working, loyal breasts, on one, last, fabulous, beach-holiday to Mexico!
Way to go Deepa! So proud of u.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely the right decision. I am proud of you and I fully support the course of action that you have chosen.
ReplyDeleteI am truly humbled. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteWow u are super amazing with your spirit and expressions
ReplyDeleteProud of you girl --- love Pinky
ReplyDeleteYour body, your decision. I am one of many on your cheering you on! Enjoy the peace your thoughtful decision has brought you.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully expressed. I admire your conviction.
ReplyDeleteYou are such an amazing woman that your courage in this matter shouldn't come as a surprise! Go girl!! Hoping you plan to write your way through this....Love you.
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